We forget exactly how much of what we know and what we want is actually something that has been ingrained into us, stitches in a wound, something that began many years ago, and has led us to this point. Wherever this is.
At a violent end, everybody prays. Religion is something that is still inherited from our parents, and being us? Well. Only seems natural to defy that. We are vicious and determined atheists some of us. But when there’s a gun to your pulse…then what is left to help you? Suddenly, there is a God; a god whom you really, really hope can hear you.
Dark, hey. I escape that loophole of hypocriticality (I’ve decided that’s a word) by being sure in my completely unsure way, that I don’t know, so I currently don’t care. I’ll decide when I cross the shiny bridge of seeing my life flash before my eyes.
I guess I just think that we like to kid ourselves that we are something we want to be. That’s not the same as pretending to be something you’re not, but maybe a more gracious and gentle relative of that concept. Who are we copying anyways? Who is it that we are trying to convince that we don’t care about anything besides living in the moment? Maybe it’s because spontaneity has been a consistent factor of being young, wild and free.
We live our lives the way we want to. Don’t we? It’s not like we haven’t even made a dent on the outside world yet. Oh no wait. As for me, I’ve shuffled gleefully from microcosm to microcosm, finding my place in each one, finding happiness. Happiness is the drug, yearning for more is the weakness, and feeling like you are not fulfilling your potential is the come down.
Potential. A certain comedian called Dylan Moran has some funny words on the business.
“On releasing your potential: Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you always have a lot less than you think.”
He’s probably right. Wanting to be awesome and blasé comes with the territory of youth, alongside invincibility, pride, and assuming that you are the first person to have done, well, ANYTHING. We play games. That’s all youth is, really. A game to get you ready for the real world. A game entirely for getting things out of your system, so you don’t fuck up your real life of work, family, happiness and consistency.
I believe I get bored of consistency. That’s why I keep myself busy. I wonder if I’ll ever get used to it. But you know, when I really think about it, I haven’t done anything. My parents raised me well, and their parents raised them well, and so on. Everyday life is injected into our very being. You get the odd few who are brave enough to do what we all want to do, and are then punished for it. I can’t decide which would be better…A life of certainty, or uncertainty?
In my seminar this morning I had to define sense from reference. Reference is when you refer to something in the situation/universe around you in your sentence. Sense is when you need nothing but the sentence to know what it means, a common knowledge within language. Now extensions are lists of everything that could be defined by a particular term, for example, “car” can represent any car that was every in existence and will ever be in existence. An extension is in the real world. Our universe. A prototype in the most popular member of the set, baring in mind this depends on the culture. So a prototype of bird for me would be a robin, being English and all. But in America they might say an eagle, I don’t know.
While deciphering these concepts, I wondered how it is our place to define them. Sense. Something that you just know. But we must have learnt it somewhere, and not known it at some point, otherwise we wouldn’t be aware we know it now, see? Ingraining. That’s all language and the process of a lifetime really is.
Just depends how you use what you’ve learnt, and how much you realize you know without even realizing it. Hmm.
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